


Thinking Out Loud

by LannaBanzai



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 17:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2317253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LannaBanzai/pseuds/LannaBanzai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a tumblr prompt. A whole bunch of AU scenarios.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Out Loud

Emma met him five times. Five strange and slightly crazy times. Then again, this was college, a place known for it's weirdness. Still, Emma hadn't thought that anything like this would happen to her, especially not with someone like him. But, Emma couldn't deny that it was something she'll never forget. 

 

The first time she met him, it was a Halloween costume party. 

 

"Come on Ems!" Ruby Lucas, her best friend and one of the most popular girls, dragged her along the street. 

 

"Calm down Ru." She muttered, wishing for nothing more than to be back in her dorm room, studying. If Emma didn't keep her grades up, she'd lose her scholarship and that means no more school for her. 

 

"It's just one night Ems. At least try and be happy?" Emma sighed but smiled, although it was fake and she knew it, it satisfied Ruby. "Come on, this is the place." Emma didn't leave campus very often, but when she did...she regretted it. 

 

Especially tonight. 

 

It was a costume party, Ruby was going as Little Red Riding Hood which didn't surprise Emma one bit. Her favourite colour was red, she loved wolves, it just seemed to fit. Emma however had opted to go as a pirate, well, a bar wench is more accurate, but it's from the same era so she didn't care. They knocked on the door, the loud music and lights could be heard from a block away. 

 

Emma was definitely going to regret this. 

 

The only way she wouldn't, is if she didn't drink anything. She had a class in the morning and a hangover did not seem like the best idea to deal with that. They were quickly ushered inside, the music blaring so loudly Emma felt like her ear drums were going to burst. At least Ruby was going to have some fun, her boyfriend Victor was there. As soon as Victor appeared, Ruby disappeared most likely pulling Victor of to some secluded corner or closet or something, leaving Emma to find a place where the music wasn't so loud and obnoxious. She found a free seat, and just as she was about to claim it, a man in a pirate costume beat her to it. 

 

Fitting, since their costumes went together. 

 

He had dark hair, and looked mighty fine in those leather pants of his. "Hey!" She complained and the man looked up at her. 

 

Shit. 

 

His eyes were enchanting. As stormy and blue as the ocean. Something had happened, because he looked slightly pissed off until their eyes met and his face softened. 

 

"Sorry, were you going to sit here?" Great. Just great. He's got a British accent. What the hell is wrong with the world, putting someone like this in Emma's way. 

 

"It's fine, I'll find somewhere else." She muttered, but he shook his head, standing up. 

 

"No, the lady must sit here." She giggled slightly. 

 

"Are you sure?" He nodded, fingers encircling her wrist and leaving her skin on fire as he pulled her to him. He leaned down until his scruff was tickling her cheek. 

 

"I insist, love." He whispered, lips grazing her ear and sending a shiver down her spine. Before she could react, he was gone. Melting into the crowd of people as if he never existed. Emma looked around for him, but didn't see him for the rest of the night. 

 

-/-

 

The second time she met him, it was under more normal circumstances. 

 

She walked towards the classroom, dragging her feet behind her. Halloween was a few weeks ago, and Emma hadn't seen that man since…not that she’d been looking or anything. 

 

Today, she had a hangover. Ruby took her, Regina, Tink, and Mary Margaret out drinking last night to celebrate Mary Margaret's engagement. Emma however had a different reason for her consumption of alcohol last night, none of her friends knew why, she just had a feeling about something and that brought on the alcohol. 

 

So now she was fighting a horrible hangover as she walked to her class. Stopping short with a groan when she saw the notice on the door. "You two, love?" She jumped at the sound, spinning around to see the pirate from Halloween. He didn't look much different, skinny jeans replacing the leather pants and a leather jacket over a loose fitting v-neck t-shirt. 

 

"Yeah, I figure a message went out yesterday or something?" He nodded. 

 

"Robin said one went out last night when I texted him." She groaned, sliding down the wall to the floor. He raised an eyebrow but sat next to her, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

 

"Wait, you're in my Criminology class?" The thought just occurred to her and he chuckled at her, nodding. 

 

"Yeah I am. I can't say I recognized you at the party, it was only a brief moment of interaction after all." She nodded. 

 

"Yeah." She glanced at her watch. She had an hour and a half to spare before her next class. 

 

"Psychology?" He asked and she nodded. "Me too." She frowned, narrowing her eyes at him. 

 

"How come I haven't noticed you in my classes before?" He shrugged. 

 

"Maybe you just haven't been looking." She couldn't say she had, because then she would sound strange, but from the look on his face...he knew she had looked for him. She settled on making a noncommittal noise, hoping it would satisfy him. It didn't. "So you have looked for me then." It wasn't a question, but she shrugged in response. Before anything else could be said, her phone rang. 

 

Unknown caller. 

 

She knew exactly what this was about, so she took a deep breath and answered the phone. "Hello?" She was silently hoping that she was wrong, but of course she wasn't. 

 

"Hi, Miss Swan?" Dammit. 

 

"Yes." A moments pause. 

 

"It says here that you wished to be notified of Mr Cassidy's release?" She bit her lip. "He was released three days ago. If you need any assistance do you know who to call?" Three days?! Three whole freaking days and they didn't call her?! 

 

"I'm sorry, did you say he was released three days ago!?" She was furious. 

 

"Yes ma'am, that is correct." She clenched her fist on her knee, completely ignoring the man who was sitting beside her. 

 

"So you decided, that you would wait three whole flipping days before you would inform me that the man I have a restraining order against, was released from prison?" A moments pause. 

 

"We have been rather busy with other cases ma'am." Her weak defense came and Emma clenched her fist so hard that her nails dug into her skin. 

 

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience it must have caused you. In that case, you can take that restraining order that seems to mean so little to you, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR-" The man beside her put his hand on her shoulder and she stopped. 

 

"Shh, love. Take a breath." She glared at him but took a deep breath. 

 

"Thanks for the call." She hissed, well, snapped is more accurate but who's saying. She ran her hand through her hair, the tiniest of sighs escaping her lips. 

 

“Are you alright?” Her chest felt tight, her eyes were watering, her breathing was becoming difficult. 

 

He was out of prison. 

 

He knew where she was. 

 

He could be on his way here. 

 

She stood up, grabbing her things.

 

“Sorry.” She muttered, before she took off down the hallway as fast as her feet could carry her.

 

-/-

She met him the third time later that day, in the hallway of the school. 

 

“Come on!” She heard an exasperated accented voice cry out and almost didn’t turn the corner. She’d skipped all her classes that day and avoided people as best as she could. “Bloody machine.” Okay, she really had to see what was going on. 

 

“Is everything okay?” She asked, coming around the corner before she stopped dead in her tracks and raised an eyebrow. The mysterious man, who’s name she had not yet learned, was sitting on the floor with his arm seemingly stuck in a vending machine. It took Emma a whole five seconds of looking at his pathetic face before she burst out laughing. 

 

“Not bloody funny.” He glared at her and she just waved her hand. 

 

“Don’t.” She managed between fits of laughter. “Just don’t say anything.” A few moments later, she managed to get control of her laughter. 

 

“Are you quite done?” She nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. 

 

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just, I thought this kind of shit only happened in the movies.” He rolled his eyes, seemingly surprised at the fact she wasn’t getting mad at him for doing this stupid thing. “So, you’re stuck?” He nodded slowly. 

 

“And I could use some help, so if you don’t mind, love, I would prefer if you help me rather than standing there and looking all pretty.” She rolled her eyes but walked over to him regardless. 

 

“Look dude, I don’t know how to help you.” He sighed. 

 

“I have a name darling, you could use it.” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

 

“And I have yet to learn it, sir.” A frown flitted across his face, but then he smiled slightly. 

 

“Killian Jones.” Oh. She’d heard things about him from her friend Milah. 

 

“Emma Swan.” He frowned slightly again, but covered it up. 

 

“Right, I’d shake your hand, Swan but it seems like it’s a little stuck at the moment.” She sighed, crouching down next to him. 

 

“I can go get someone?” He shook his head. 

 

“No thanks, darling. If others hear about this, well it seems like I’ll never live it down.” She smiled slightly, biting her lip and ignoring how his eyes were immediately drawn to it. 

 

“Well, I can’t guarantee that this will work, but I can try and pull it out.” He shrugged and she could practically see the innuendo on the tip of his tongue so she shot him a glare. 

 

“Its worth a shot.” She sighed, wrapping her hands around his arm and tugging on it, not enough to hurt him immensely, but enough to let his hand free itself. Emma caught herself so she didn’t land on the ground, but Killian wasn’t so lucky. He landed flat on his back. “Oof.” She had to slap a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, but failed. “I’m glad I could provide you with entertainment, love.” She nodded as he sat up, feeling much better than she did before. She had her back to the wall, and he slid over to join her, their legs stretched out in front of them. 

 

“That was ridiculous, I hope you know that.” She turned her face to look at him and he rolled his eyes at her. 

 

“I can’t help it. I haven’t eaten all day, I needed something!” It was her turn to roll her eyes. 

 

“So you went to a vending machine? Instead of ordering pizza or something?” He shrugged. 

 

“I didn’t want to order a pizza just for myself, love. That would be strange would it not?” She turned away from him to stare at her fingers, unwilling to admit that it's what she does. 

 

“Yeah maybe. Whatever, just be glad you’re free now.” Emma moved to stand but he caught her hand and she froze. 

 

“Wait, Swan.” She did. She doesn’t know why, but she did, leaning her back against the wall again she waited. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, turning back to her and nervously scratching behind his ear with his free hand. “I don’t exactly know how to say this, but we seem to keep running into each other. Would you mind if I had your number?” He was really nervous, his eyes slowly meeting hers from under his ridiculously long lashes. 

 

How cute. 

 

“Just a phone number love, nothing serious.” She nodded, taking his phone and quickly adding her number. 

 

“There you are, Jones. Watch out for yourself, you never know when the vending machine could strike again." She grinned before standing up. 

 

"Is everything alright, Swan?" She froze before nodding. 

 

"Yeah I'm fine." She replied, her tone guarded. 

 

"Are you sure? You didn't come to class after this morning, I wanted to make sure you were alright."

 

He cared? 

 

"I'm fine Killian. Thanks." She didn't turn around just yet, his eyes were holding her to the spot as he took a step towards her. 

 

“Do you want to go get a coffee?” He asked and her walls immediately built themselves up. 

 

“You just look like you need someone to talk to…thats all it is Swan.” Is that all it will ever be though? 

 

“Yeah, alright.” Maybe she could talk to someone for just one night.

 

-/-

 

The fourth time they met, the situation was odd to say the least.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” He spun around, a guilty expression all over his face. 

 

“Whatever do you mean Swan?” He asked, reaching up to scratch behind his ear. 

 

“Emma?” She turned, smiling at the voice from behind her. 

 

“Ems, what’s up?” Ruby and Mary Margaret froze when they saw who she was with. They quickly pulled her a little ways away from him. 

 

“Is that Killian Jones?” She nodded. 

 

“Like THE Killian Jones?” Ruby asked for clarification and she rolled her eyes. 

 

“Perhaps?” Emma didn’t know he had a reputation. 

 

“Emma, be careful will you?” Mary Margaret’s tone was guarded, and her eyes were caring but Emma took a careful step back. 

 

“Why?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing to where Killian was standing, obviously hearing every word. 

 

“Because he’s not exactly known for being a nice guy.” Emma rolled her eyes, another tiny step away. 

 

“Look, I appreciate the concern but I can take care of myself. Besides, it’s not like anything has happened. We’re friends. That’s all.” She glanced at him again, trying not to let her face heat up at the hidden desire in her words. He seemed to be struggling with something, and when he felt her looking he stopped. “ It’s not that big of a deal! Seriously!” She insisted but they just stared at her and she groaned. "I’ll meet you guys later, okay?” They nodded and Mary Margaret pulled Ruby by the arm. 

 

“Use protection!” She yelled and Emma rolled her eyes. 

 

“Goodbye Ruby!” She called before turning back to Killian, a light blush tinging her cheeks as he raised an eyebrow at her. 

 

“Friends?” He asked and she nodded, slightly unsure as to who he was referring to. 

 

“So what the hell are you doing?” She asked again. “You’ve been standing around here, messing with that jacket of yours for a while now. And you’re not exactly looking innocent.” He smirked at her and she realized her mistake. 

 

“You’ve been watching me, Emma?” It was something about the way her name rolled off his tongue so perfectly. It sent shivers up her spine as she flushed. 

 

“No!” She answered quickly. “Oh shut up you idiot! Now tell me what the hell you’re doing before I decide to walk away and never look back.” She was lying. She wouldn’t be able to stay away for that long, especially after their coffee the other day. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation, but he listened. 

 

He cared. 

 

He actually understood. 

 

She’d learnt the real reason Milah and he broke up, and it wasn’t what Milah had said at all. When Emma asked why he didn’t clear it up, his only reply was that it didn’t matter what everyone thought as long as the people he cares about know the truth. He told her about his brother, and how his brother was ill. She told him about Neal and why he was arrested in the first place, trying to pin a robbery on her.

 

“It’s a long story.” He muttered, pulling her out of her thoughts and she crossed her arms again, this time in slight annoyance. 

 

“I have time.” She replied and he sighed, scratching his ear once more. 

 

“Well..my brother Liam had to go to the hospital for a little while…and…he doesn’t have anyone to look after his cat.” 

 

He didn’t. 

 

“There isn’t anywhere else, and I just need to get him inside. Once I get him inside it’ll be fine.” 

 

He did. 

 

She sighed. “Will you lend me a hand, love?” Emma bit her lip, thinking for a moment before nodding. 

 

“If we get caught, I’m telling them you blackmailed me into it.” She muttered and he chuckled lightly. 

 

“Fair enough, darling. Fair enough.” She sighed, glancing around before they snuck inside. Checking every hallway and door as they passed. 

 

She stood watch while he unlocked his room, squealing in surprise when he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. "Sorry, love!" She whacked him in the arm. 

 

"Don't do that!" She glared and he just nodded, pulling the cat out from under his jacket. It mew'd softly and she couldn't help the small smile that split out on her face. 

 

"His name is Hook, since we found him outside my brothers restaurant, but we just call him Lieutenant most of the time." She tilted her head curiously as he set the cat down. "Liam's restaurant's called the Jolly Roger." She giggled at that. 

 

"I like that." He grinned, sitting down on the floor and pulling on her hand, indicating for her to sit as well. As soon as she did the cat marched over and sat in her lap. She stared at him in surprise since animals usually stay away from her. 

 

"Don't be afraid to pet him." She glanced up at Killian, chewing on her bottom lip. 

 

"I've never touched an animal before, let alone had one sit on me." She muttered, slowly scratching behind it's ears. Lieutenant began to purr and she grinned happily. 

 

"You haven't?" She shook her head, ignoring his surprised stare. 

 

"Well we weren't allowed pets at the orphanage, and then the foster families could barely look after us kids let alone an animal." She slapped her hand over her mouth, waiting for the words that usually followed. 

 

"That's too bad, he seems to really like you." Emma blinked, staring at him in shock as her hand drifted back to the purring mass of fluffy black fur. "Something the matter, love?" She shook her head slowly, blinking again. 

 

"No..." She mumbled as Lieutenant jumped off her lap, walking over to a food dish that had been set up. 

 

"Have you heard from Neal?" He asked, his tone cautious. 

 

"Yeah, he just said he was sorry and that he and his fiancée are moving away as soon as his parole is up." She shrugged, leaning against the bed behind her as he shuffled over next to her. 

 

"I'm sorry." He gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled slightly. It was silent for a moment as they watched the cat explore the room. "You can come visit him anytime. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you." Killian's voice held a hint of a request and she giggled. 

 

"Are you sure it's about the cat?" She asked, instantly regretting the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. 

 

"Why, Swan? Would you prefer to visit me instead?" She blushed, instantly glaring at him and he chuckled at her. "I mean it, Emma. Whenever you want too, come and visit. Just send me a text first." She nodded, tilting her head curiously. 

 

"Why?" He sighed. 

 

"Because he likes you.” 

 

He's talking about the cat right? 

 

"Plus, with the way your face lit up when he jumped into your lap...how could he not, darling." His eyes were locked on hers, his face inches away from hers. "He likes you Emma, more than he could ever say.” Nope. 

 

He's most definitely not talking about the cat. 

 

"Oh." That's all she could muster, the closeness turning her brain to mush. She could count all the silvery flecks in his eyes, feel the tickle of his breath on her face, he waited. He was leaving it up to her, giving her a choice to back out if she wanted too, but she just grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him in. The kiss was fiery, it was passionate, it was needy, but she cut it short. She pulled away. Panic had built inside of her, panic that he would leave her like everyone else and she closed herself off, standing up quickly. 

 

"I have to go." She muttered, needing to distance herself from him. 

 

"Wait, Emma!" She shook her head, backing away as he scrambled up. 

 

"I can't." She needed to run. It was a built in response. She turned and stepped out his door, closing it behind her before she took off down the hallway, attempting to keep the tears at bay. 

 

She screwed up. 

 

She screwed up bad. 

 

But she kept going. 

 

-/-

 

The fifth, and last time she met him, it was raining. 

 

A month had gone by since she last spoke to him. The rain had started and Emma was lonely. Her friends had all left for the holiday's but she had to remain here, nowhere else to go. A few people remained on campus, the only person she knew was Killian, but she hadn't talked to him in a month. She hated to admit it, but she missed him. She screwed up badly, leaving him like that. But she made it worse by ignoring him. After two weeks he stopped trying altogether. She sighed, glancing at her watch. The bus would be here soon and she could finally head into town to get some of the things she needed. With another sigh she stood, throwing on her jacket and grabbing her wallet and cellphone, but leaving her umbrella behind. It was a mistake, but the rain looked like it was letting up, so she shrugged it off. When she got to the bus stop a few moments later, she realized she wasn't the only one there. 

 

The other person being none other than Killian Jones. 

 

"Shit." She mumbled as she neared, thankfully he didn't see her yet. Maybe her things could wait. She turned around and went to head back to her dorm, soaked for nothing. 

 

"Emma?" She grimaced, slowly turning back to face him. 

 

“Hi.” She muttered somewhat pathetically. His voice washed over her like a wave, familiar and comforting. She wanted to move closer to him, throw her arms around him, and apologize for everything. 

 

But she couldn't. 

 

"How's Lieutenant?" She asked, avoiding his eyes which were staring at her with a mixture of anger, sadness, and concern. 

 

"He misses you." Something in his voice made her wonder if he was actually talking about the cat. "He wonders if there was something wrong, which is why you never came back." Nope. Not talking about the cat. 

 

"Well you can tell him that I'm sorry..." Silence met her words and she shivered. 

 

"Gods, I'm sorry love! You're soaking. Here, come share this. It won’t dry you off but it’ll keep you from getting even more soaked." She raised an eyebrow at him, it was a horrible idea really. But apparently he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Killian reached out with his free hand and tugged on hers, pulling her to him. 

 

"Hey!" She complained but the rain stopped plastering her hair to her face so she couldn't really complain. That's when she became aware of how close they really were. Before she could move away, he spoke. 

 

"What happened to you, Emma? Why did you go?" She could hear the hurt in his voice, but didn't meet his eyes. 

 

"I-Nothing." She lied but he sighed, leaning forwards and resting his forehead on hers. His eyes closed. 

 

"Emma, you're somewhat of an open book to me. I can read you. I know you're afraid of getting hurt, but I won't hurt you. I couldn't live with myself if I did." She was frozen in place. "If you don't want to be with me, I understand. Just please don't leave me in the dark. I can't take it anymore." He sounded broken. 

 

She did that.

 

She made him this way.

 

She couldn’t take it anymore.

 

"Killian, open your eyes." She half-whispered, waiting until he did as she requested before she let the words tumble from her mouth. "I panicked and I ran. It's what I do. Nobody ever sticks around me, so to save myself from getting hurt I run." She laced her fingers with his, smiling slightly. "But I screwed up. I didn't realize how much I would miss you. That sounds stupid now that I say it out loud, but it's true. I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to say it, and even then it feels like I'm not saying enough but I really like you Killian. I like you a lot, and you're the first person I met to stick around even after I tried to push you away. So please don't leave me. I'm so-" He closed the gap between them, kissing her with enough force to cause her to step back slightly in order to stop herself from falling over. 

 

"Emma, love." He nearly whispered as he pulled away a little. 

 

"Yeah?" He grinned, his nose nudging hers. 

 

"Stop talking." She giggled as he kissed her again, the umbrella falling to the ground as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him, his other hand tangling itself in her hair. Her arms slid up from his chest to around his neck as she twined her fingers into his hair and tried to mold them together. When they pulled apart for some desperately needed oxygen, they were both slightly dazed and breathing heavily. 

 

"I think," She began, tangling their fingers together as the bus pulled up. 

 

"We should go together." He finished and she grinned, pulling him onto the bus with her. 

 

They spent the day wandering around, arms wrapped around each other as they shared the umbrella and then ended it in his dorm room. Laughing and talking as they played with Lieutenant before he curled himself in Emma's lap rendering her immobile, she giggled when Killian leaned over and wiped some pizza sauce off her face. He rolled his eyes at her, but a slight smile was tugging at his lips. “Messy, messy woman.” She just grinned in response. Their fingers were intertwined the entire time, always making sure the other was still there. They continued talking, the cat content to sleep in Emma's lap as she absentmindedly scratched behind it's ear, occasionally replying as Killian told her about a few of his European travels. His voice was calming, relaxing and enough to cause an already sleepy Emma to close her eyes, her head dropping to his shoulder. "Emma?" He asked, pausing in his story but she just smiled. 

 

"Keep going, I'm listening." She mumbled, her voice sleepy and Killian couldn't help but grin at that before he continued on with his story. 

 

Five minutes later, Emma was asleep. 

 

When she woke up the next day, wrapped in Killian's arms, Lieutenant snuggled up under her arm, she found the panic that usually accompanied this was gone. She was free. Killian was snoring lightly, his arm over her waist and his fingers tangled with hers and she realized that maybe, even though she doesn't believe it much, but maybe the fact that they met these five interesting times was supposed to mean something. Maybe it was fate telling her that it was okay to be happy. She smiled to herself, snuggling closer to him and closing her eyes for a few more hours of sleep.


End file.
